But...the process of illumination still goes on. Teachers come in so many different ways to us. Often it takes me a lot of time to really realize that a situation is just that. Once I've gone into that mode and my ego has taken a step back from trying to defend itself with everything it's got, the challenge to understand what the lesson is arises.
This time around I have come a little way to understand that the learning for me now in my current life situation is to stand challenging emotions. I realize now how in so many ways I run away from it, sometimes into hatha yoga. Just stopping, being in the emotion, validating myself, accepting and surrender.
This time around I think that what is happening of the mat will help me withstand challenging asanas on the mat. Lesson is to surrender to what is not comfortable. Realizing that it is not going to hurt me.