A diary on yoga

Long time no writing

2011-12-04T19:38:00.002+01:00

Motivation and time to write has come back. I have had the need to go deep within and also focus on all the activities that are going on in my life.

I've spent much time working fulltime and studying part time. Soon it's Christmas vacation and will have a much needed rest being a lot outside, doing yoga and resting.

I'm studying cognitive behavioral therapy and I've had the opportunity to do a course in Mindfulness at work. I'm so grateful to be able to work with it.

Hatha yoga has been a bit uneven during the past 6 months since I've had to focus much on work and studies and also had a lot of colds. Now I feel strong again. Today I spent the afternoon amongst old old oaktrees in beautiful old nature. I'm balances again.

Meditation under old oak trees

2011-05-23T06:36:00.003+02:00

As I raise my consciousness I can much more easily direct the energy in my energy field, sensing when something is stuck or if I've soaked up energy from my surroundings that I need to let go of in order to stay balanced. Also through the process of all the meditation and hatha yoga many times unresolved issues from my past are coming up to the surface so that I can let go of them. All the meditation has brought me in to a much more peaceful state. I feel lighthearted and I can meet my everyday life with much more ease and I carry a basic emotion of that life is perfect in all it's ways.

I meditate much in nature. I seek out those places I can find with high vibrational energies. I have my favorite place with old old oak trees just by the ocean. The plant life here is amazing. Just sitting in these surroundings are very harmonizing.

Deva Premal & Miten

2011-05-15T07:43:00.004+02:00

Last night my and my sister in law, also she a yoga teacher (I'm so blessed to have my only sister in law also loving the same things I do) went to a Deva Premal & Miten concert in the city concert hall.

It was bliss. I especially loved the mantras she does with the Gyuto Monks of Tibet. The earthy tones of the monks and her feminine voice.

Take out your mala and sit comfortably with a straight back and prepare to recite the mantra 108 times and then end in silence.

As Deva says,

“Without the silence that follows the chants, you get only half the story. It's like the climax of a good story. The silence is there because it exists in the music. It just needs to be exposed and acknowledged. It's so easy to overlook the silence inside the music... and it's that which is healing us... if we allow it to be there. This is really one of the main reasons Miten and I sing - to bathe in Silence. It's our nourishment. It's what keeps us on the road. For me there is nothing more precious than having sung with an audience, ecstatic with bliss, and then entering the deep silence that the mantra brings... so deep, that with closed eyes you really feel there is 'nobody' there at all... all personalities dissolved for a tiny sacred moment.”

Check out their homepage for more info. Click the titel above.

Spring is here!!!

2011-04-15T06:29:00.003+02:00

It's been so long since I've been posting anything. Life is so full I've had to make priorities. The last 4 weeks I've had a persistent cold with a killing cough s I'v had no energy to do hatha yoga. Of course there is daily meditations. A practice for me though, has been to just resign into the illness. This had been tough but now I'm starting to get it. I can enjoy just observing myself in this "mode" as well.

Spring is here and soon it will be so warm outside that I can do yoga in the park. I love going there after work and then after practice friends and family come over for pick nick.

*3~

2011-03-24T20:15:00.003+01:00

Time flies by so fast. Work, daily practice, loving friendship meetings, being with my children. I find myself spending less and less time on the blog, almost no TV at all. Most of the time I have of from work I spend meditating. Now spring is coming and I feel this strong yearning to meditate in nature.

All this time spent meditating has brought me into this sense of beingness, isness. Today, even having a slight cold I find myself being in the breath of the great one. There is no worldly experience that could ever come close. This isness is so subtle, yet deep and strong.

Daily practice

2011-03-09T06:22:00.004+01:00

I'm so happy having my health back so I can do my daily practice. It makes such a difference to practice daily. My back bends are really starting to become smooth and strong. Abs needs much more strength so I will do extra exercise for that. I do put attention to uddiyana banda in all the asanas to be connected to these important muscles, since they are exercised in so many asanas.

Now time for a little morning practice with saluting the sun and doing some handstands. My body is ready for it but my mind isn't. I can feel the fear arising only by putting my hands on the floor to get ready for it.

Found some nice videos from ashtanga world that I like very much. I don't practice ashtanga anymore but I still practice daily (if my health allows it)

Me and men

2011-03-01T06:44:00.002+01:00

I'm finding myself in a process of dealing with my karma with men. Now when I've opened myself to viewing myself in relation to men and the freedom that comes from that, I cannot believe how I could have spent to many years projecting it away from myself. I've put it out there. Thinking that they are the once who are impossible. Intellectually I've asked myself; "What am I doing wrong?The question never really reached my heart. It was to frightening for me to really put my guard down. Finally after more than 20 years of difficult relationships I've moved a big block of stone.

Synchronicity

2011-02-26T11:14:00.004+01:00

Intentions are manifesting very fast now. Friends from different directions with many different energies, lifestyles, knowledge and interests are coming into my life now. Just as I wishes for.

If my hopes, wishes, intentions and dreams are manifesting this fast I must get real with my focus and see so that what I ask for really is what I want.

Is it that my intentions and wishes are in alignment with what the universe wants for me at this moment in time, or what is happening?

Standing it

2011-02-25T06:21:00.002+01:00

This week turned out to be quite a hatha yoga free week. A lingering slight cold that gives me a steady headache and every time I do some yoga I end up with a worse one. For me it is also a challenge not to do hatha yoga.

But...the process of illumination still goes on. Teachers come in so many different ways to us. Often it takes me a lot of time to really realize that a situation is just that. Once I've gone into that mode and my ego has taken a step back from trying to defend itself with everything it's got, the challenge to understand what the lesson is arises.

This time around I have come a little way to understand that the learning for me now in my current life situation is to stand challenging emotions. I realize now how in so many ways I run away from it, sometimes into hatha yoga. Just stopping, being in the emotion, validating myself, accepting and surrender.

This time around I think that what is happening of the mat will help me withstand challenging asanas on the mat. Lesson is to surrender to what is not comfortable. Realizing that it is not going to hurt me.

More plans for 2011

2011-02-24T06:11:00.002+01:00

I forgot a lot intents, hopes and wishes for 2011.

A strong yearning is to be able to travel more and attend yoga workshops in warm places.

I've started the Cognitive behavioral therapy course this semester and I wish/ask/pray for more flow for my studies.

Well, no more time by the computer this morning. Some morning practice now.

Namaste

Good flow

2011-02-24T06:09:00.001+01:00

My plan for a meditations group is already happening. It will start in the beginning of Mars. Good flow here. Put out an intent and what has energy will flow. I just follow.

Plans for 2011

2011-02-16T11:44:00.003+01:00

Instead of doing the heart opening asanas I got sick and I'm in bed. I contemplate my life. A lot of old issues are surfacing and I just to sink into them. I meet them and then let go when I'm ready with them. They live there own life. I just take part until the roles have been played out. Insights have come. Emotions cleared out.

I think I've never been as happy as I am now. Most areas in my life are working well. I have gotten a group of very close and sweet loving friends. They are my new spiritual family. I'm at home here. I'm in a wonderful flow in my yoga with steady progress. Work is going well to.

No boyfriend for the moment. Have tried a bunch since I got out of a long relationship four years ago. My intent hasn't been to have someone steady. I just wanted to have fun, good company, sex and laughter. Most of them wanted to get married quite soon and many wanted to start a family. They must have been quite blind since I'm 44 years old and have grown children, but hey love is blind. If it was love? Maybe they just were so hungry for family life. I have someone now too. We say we are going to be friends. My intuition tells me otherwise. He has many dreams about us as a loving couple. So I guess our rational minds say the best thing is to be friends but heart says otherwise. Future will tell. A boyfriend is not important to me now. If it happens it happens.

My spiritual growth is steady. A friend of mine said the other day when she heard about me having the Nordic gods Oden and Freja coming up in my mind constantly, that maybe I need to sacrifice something to be able to reach higher on my spiritual path. This felt right on the spot. I haven't found out quite yet what I need to sacrifice. Now when I'm in bed I have more space to let my subconscious rise to the surface.

I want to expand my friend ship arena for this year. I will start a meditation group with one of my friends. We have the right spot for it and a network of interested people. I know we hold a strong energy that people are inspired by. I have a very good feeling about this. These two activities along with keeping up an extensive yoga practice are the major areas I want to put energy into for 2011.

Let it come

2011-02-15T06:14:00.003+01:00

It's - 7 degrees Celsius and a slow snowfall.

No yoga for 4 days now. I've been busy with meditation at my friends.

And painting my new bedroom.

My body is longing for stretching, opening up my chest.

A lot of things from meditation has stirred up some deep issues withing.

Mostly my body is reacting by wanting to contract. I will do the opposite, open my chest. Do a lot of back bends tonight at class. On an emotional level it's very faint what is going on. I can register sorrow. I will let go and let it have it's course with me. When this is going on inside I notice

how I become more sensitive to things outside that are messy. Almost a little desperate as if I want to start controlling. I let go, I let it happen. I do not change anything. I'm present. I let it happen.

Happy Valentines day!!!

2011-02-14T07:33:00.002+01:00

May love and light from source go to the mineral kingdom, plant kingdom, animal kingdom, the oceans and waters, to man. May it heal our hearts so we can carry ourselves with a humble open loving heart and direct this love towards ourselves and all life manifestations. May the circle of life be whole and holy to us for we are all one and we are blessed *3~

Arm balances

2011-02-13T09:30:00.003+01:00

I got some help from my teacher the other day to come up in Pincha Mayrasana. "You are so close" she said to me. I was surprised over how strong I actually was in this pose. I've felt so weak in my shoulder muscles that I haven't trusted them to hold me. I needed that little extra push to come over that fear. I look forward to the next time I will get up in this pose. The biggest obstacle is always the mind.

In Bakasana I still use two blocks to rest my fore head on. Slowly slowly my mind is coming along and is being reassured that the body will be stable.

In Bakasana variations with a twist I still have great difficulty. My elbows wobble and I fall over and over again. It's OK I will get it one day. I will try it with a strap to stabilize my arms.

Life is full

2011-02-09T20:34:00.003+01:00

of sweetness, expansion to soul level. Body is expanding, it's strong flexible and I enjoy the flow. It's like I've gone to another level in my practice. I go much deeper into the asanas, I have found my breath again. For some time I couldn't get into the flow of breath and movement. During this time my mind was preoccupied with something that disturbed me that I was trying different ways of handling. In the end what worked was to just accept and go with it. I had the experience of being divided and so was my breath and movement.

I spend little time to reading about yoga and also to spend time on the blog. I spend most of my time with friends meditating, being in nature and having quality time with my family.

Last weekend my oldest daughter moved in with her boyfriend in a new apartment. They are so happy. So am I and my youngest daughter. Finally we have more space and I have a new bedroom. This weekend I will paint the walls. I have bought purple and pink accessories. The room will be all white.

Spring is coming slowly slowly. Moment of great clarity come more and more often. How sweet it is.

The pic. was taken at the zoo that I went to 2 weeks ago. This is the pool of the sea lions. I was amazed by this beautiful blue color. One of my favorite once.

Dolphin love

2011-02-02T06:30:00.005+01:00

Last weekend I spent with my soul sisters meditating long hours, no yoga, a lot of sisterly love. On Saturday we had an exclusive visit with Dolphins. It was 1,5 hours of pure love and you. The happiness and playfulness they express just made me feel like a small happy child. It was a most healing experience. They love to be cuddled with and swam alongside us everywhere we walked. I have to go here again.

On the way home we went to the Antroposophic center outside Stockholm to soak in some wonderful culture, colors, architecture and we found out that they will have an exhibition about colors beginning in May. This I have to visit since one of my favorite artist painters, Hilma af Klint, will be exhibited.

In the shop they sold wonderful stones. I ended up buying 1 kg of amethyst cluster. So beautiful. I will put in the bedroom window of my new room. I will have purple and pink accessories in an otherwise white room.

Yoga this week has been awesome so far. I'm in a wonderful flow both in my mind and in my body. I was so inspired reading about Vanda Scaravelli from a fellow yoga blogger and was reminded of the the dance, flow and lightness. The theme this week is so far surrendering in to the pose, into life. Trusting that things will fall into the place they are suppose to be in rather than pushing them that way. To be receptive and listen and follow this flow with intent.

Slowly one step at the time

2011-01-25T21:01:00.002+01:00

I love that my hamstring on the left leg has healed. Prasarittas, pashimottanasana, upavishta konasana, parsvottanasana, padangustasana are going so well now. No pain and a lot of progress is happening. This muscle is so important in so many asanas and doing yoga not being able to move freely with it has been very trying. But now one year later with virya yoga and anuasara with strong focus on alignment and bio mechanics I have healed. Chest is opening up beautifully and arm strength is slowly coming. Yoga is good. I am good. I have acted with care and caution and it has payed of.

Back in the flow of NAAM

2011-01-22T22:27:00.003+01:00

Back on track again. Yoga at shakti this morning. I felt so much stronger. It's weird. I was to week to do practice during the week but my body still longed so much after yoga. Today it celebrated. The body was open and happy to flow. I had a smile all over my face. It was virya flow - my favorite class.

During the afternoon I meditated with my two dear soulsisters. Finally I got my energies up. Now I'm vibrant, in light, in the flow of NAAM.

O'boy...

2011-01-21T22:37:00.003+01:00

...what a week! Is it the full moon energy? I don't recognize myself. I've been in such a peaceful flow, filled with energy, happy. Slowly I felt my ego starting to itch and as the week has progressed it has turned into being like a fish on a hook, restlessly fighting a battle it cannot win, only to prolong the suffering. Still it is fighting.

Most of the time I have thrown myself into the experience and not been able to only observe even though I feel a part of me is observing, a small part. All the time. Can it be because I haven't been doing much yoga since I'm too week from a cold? I did a practice on Wednesday but I was unable to go the next day and even today, being to weak.

I feel as if it is a turmoil inside. I breath, I put one foot in front of the other. One step at the time. I observe my thoughts. Strange thoughts, so unlike how I've been thinking ever before. Are these thoughts the product of all the deep mediations I've been doing all fall? The dark corners of my ego showing themselves? I breath. I observe. I put one foot in front of the other.

Tomorrow: yoga at the studio. Afternoon and evening: long meditations with my dear soul sisters. I breath. I observe. I put one foot in front of the other.

Peace & love

2011-01-17T07:32:00.002+01:00

A wonderful weekend with lot's of meditation and time spent with loved once. Energy was vibrant, peace present, love high. No yoga. A cold that just sits there keeps me still. I meditate. Miss moving my body. Also this I accept.

Circulation

2011-01-15T08:32:00.003+01:00

Mmmm, first cup of coffee in the morning is the best cup. Enjoying it in silence. Everybody else are asleep.

I'm happy my almost grown up children are spending so much time at home lately. In the end of the month my oldest daughter will move together with her boyfriend in their first apartment. They are so in love. It's a blessing. I can see how both of them are healing from past difficulties in each others company.

I feel compelled to start painting again. I will plan it in my schedule. Colorful mandala paintings. As a meditation. I would also like to have a big painting over my sofa in the living room with softer colors. I have several in the basement. They need to be finished first. I have waited for the right moment. They are to big to paint in the apartment. When my daughter moves I will have more space. I will move in to her room. I'm planning my new bedroom interior. I want to add more color to my otherwise white interior. I'm especially in love with purple and pink.

The magic of meditation

2011-01-14T06:36:00.003+01:00

It's amazing what 15 minutes of meditation can give in focus and energy. All day yesterday I got so much done at work. My head was crystal clear. After work I went to one of my meditations groups and we meditated for 1,5 hours. I came home, fulfilled, relaxed, energized and had a wonderful sleep after a very long day. Now every morning I will start again with at least 15 minutes of meditation.

Shaky but interesting

2011-01-12T21:44:00.003+01:00

With aching muscles from previous yoga practise earlier in the week and a cold that is threatening to get a grip on me I went to a vinyasa flow class. The teacher said that today we where going to do a flow called "Deep." This will be interesting I thought to myself. I felt really shaky and I out of focus and my breath was all over the place. In the end I could only laugh at the whole situation and just surrender to it. Some days are like this and they will pass. I'm happy that I went anyways.

All my work on arms and shoulders have paid of. Tittibasana was really steady and no aching in my elbows. I'm so happy to see my body healing through yoga, the everyday yoga practice is really paying of. Going to class almost everyday is making a huge difference since I get really good instructions and corrections.

I have noticed from my photos that I tend to go to much forward instead of upward. Lifting the chest up and the let the bend come in the upper part of the spine. It doesn't squeeze the lower back in the same way. I focused on working on little but very important corrections like this and it made a big difference.

Dive in to the source

2011-01-11T06:52:00.002+01:00

I have a bliss mission for 2011. Seek out fun and inspiring moments, events, people and most importantly within myself.

Open heart and mind. Dive in to the source. Flow with life!!!

Enlightening

2011-01-10T06:32:00.004+01:00

I bought a new mini compact camera this weekend. Yesterday after Anusara class a friend of mine took some pics of me so I could see what I needed to work on to improve the poses. It was quite enlightening. I saw feet pointing in directions they should not be in. When in the pose I feel as if they are straight but in the shot I can they are not. I now understand in what part of the back I need to work on opening up.

I love how accepting my mind is nowadays when I practice. Even if I don't feel as if I'm in a flow my love for the practice is so big that my whole body is smiling just being able to be on my mat.

Virya flow class

2011-01-08T14:48:00.004+01:00

...with not much flow. I longed for yoga after 3 days of intense meditation just sitting still. The body longed for letting the energy flow but my breath and movements were jerky. So this was what I really needed to balance all the sitting still.

The guy next to me could float in the vinyasas. It was so beautiful. I want this too, my ego cried. I've tried it several times falling on my face. I decided to build more muscles and balance before I would try it again.

I'm a back bending Goddess!!

2011-01-05T00:20:00.002+01:00

Head is almost on the foot in Eka pada rajakapotanasana. Chest is opening up more and more each day. I work both my body to open up and also my emotions. I've decided to stay and meet situations with an open heart and attitude, not to run away and hide. Possibly it's paying of in my asanas as well. Bodymind mindbody.

Vasisthasana...

2011-01-04T06:35:00.003+01:00

...with one leg up holding the big toe with my fingers happened yesterday for the first time. I've tried it so many times before without making it. This is yoga, you practice and practice and all of a sudden the pose appears.

Looking forward to tonights class, shakti yoga - a lot of playfulness. I'm curious to see what the body will do tonight.

Joy and playfulness!!!

A heavy heart can come in handy when doing yoga

2011-01-03T20:44:00.005+01:00

Monday night Anusara class - heart opening class - heart is leading in every asana.

In prasarita padottanasana C I imagined my heart being heavy, dropping down rather than pushing it forward. It made a world of difference. Mind over matter. The body relaxed and heart dropped resulting in a straighter back with almost no effort.

I just had a wonderful veggy meal that ended with chocolate soy icecream. Jummy. Now just a shower, the dishes, moment in bed with my shakti mat - then ZZZZZZZZ.

Meditation to welcome 2011

2011-01-03T07:03:00.004+01:00

Yesterday evening me and my soul sisters ended a meditation that started on the 31 of December. The energy was so sweet that we ended up adding yet another day and then yet another day until it was four in total. I feel refreshed. Cleansed from inside. So much tension and mind stuff from happenings during the fall has fallen away.

The mantras from Deva Premals "Mantras for precariouse times" are accompanying me as I write and drink my morning coffee. The mantras are echoing in my being. They are so clear and touches me as if it was the first time I listen to them.

I'm blessed and loved.

My name is love. I'm peace, light, abundance and joy.

Namaste

Working the hips

2011-01-01T18:23:00.002+01:00

At yesterdays yoga class we focused on hips. Working on the hips can really trigger a lot of old holding patterns and a lot of emotions can come up. A beautiful way to end 2010. Letting go of old stuff and inviting the new.

We worked a lot with deep lunges all through the sun salutations and then deepening them into Eka pada rajakapotanasana. I'm working on going towards the full rajakapotanasana with my arms above my head holding on the foot. Now I manage easily to place the back foot in the elbow and the binding the front hand with the backhand. Making a firm stable base by tensing and drawing the back an front legs towards each other to get good muscle activation is quite tiresome but dose the trick. I will try a block under one hip to support the base more since I tend to fall to one side going for the full rajakapotanasana.

A new asana for me is a deep lunge with knee on the back leg on the floor, holding the foot with the reverse hand. Making a twist in the upper body makes a beautiful stretch in the hip as well as in the back - a new favorite pose.

Janu sirsansana - stretshing over both the outstretched leg then the bent one, twisting your spine, looking up towards the roof.

Then wild thing! Really fun and liberating.

To be radian and flowing...

2010-12-31T14:00:00.004+01:00

...is my intent for 2011. I'm through carrying others. Now I let go and flow in the force I feel coming from within. There is so much joy and love that is now bursting out like lava from a volcano in my chest.

I went to a New years anusara yoga class. It was full, about 30 people in the room, laughing, sweating, moaning in joy to move and breath. My body was open, strong and flexible. I was next to a radiator so I got some extra heat that helped a great deal. Balance was so much better today. I had such a longing to do a lot of heart openings, opening my whole body to let the flow going. Even forward bend were deeper.

Tonight I will be with my soul sisters. It will be a magical night. Sun is shining. I better get out to get some rays on my face before sunset that will happen soon.

Happy new years yogis and yoginis!!!

Here some flow inspiration from Rainbeau Mars

The last vibrating days of 2010

2010-12-30T07:04:00.002+01:00

I go through events that happened during 2010. I give thanks and let go of what is not to go with me into 2011.

On Tuesday I went to yoga class. Even though I haven't been doing much yoga lately body is open and flexible. Much has happened during 2010 with my body and mind. Body responds quicker for change - thanks to a continues more or less daily practice. Mind lets automatic thoughts go more easily. A feel more whole and balanced. More of this will happen during 2011.

The injuries I got during last winters practice has now healed. I have a lifelong history of psychosomatising things. I think that this is being corrected now. I can accept emotions and be in contact with them more easily nowand work on having the energy flow going. My practice at yoga shala with Virya and Anusara yoga has helped to make it possible to happen. I'm so grateful for this. I'm planning to go on with this.

I just bought blocks for home to support my head on when I do arm balances. This helped a lot for balancing since my elbows are quite unstable. My focus and intent on the first part of 2011 is to build more muscles in my arms and gain an overall better balance.

A relaxing Sunday

2010-12-26T10:27:00.002+01:00

Mmmm feeling the need for fresh juicing today after all that Christmas food. One of my friends will come over to do a looooong meditation with me. Tonight I will go to my BF house.

Sleeping in and having a full but very relaxing day I don't think I can fit in hatha yoga anywhere. But who knows may some Sun salutations will be possible. Otherwise Thuesday I will be back in the shala ready to get back on track.

Merry Christmas yogis and yoginis!!!

2010-12-23T19:36:00.003+01:00

Christmas tree is waiting to be decorated and Christmas presents to be wrapped. The first little celebration tonight with my children since they are going to their father tomorrow for Christmas eve celebration.

Tomorrow I will go to my relatives for a 3 day Christmas celebration. No yoga today but hopefully I will be able to sneak in some during the next few days even if there is very little place to practice. Well if nothing else a whole lot of meditation and walks in the countryside in a beautiful snowy landscape. The temperature is threatening to drop bellow - 10-15 degrees Celsius and then it's not very nice to go for long walks.

I'm currently reading Esoteric healing by A.A. Baily. A hole lot of reading about chakras and energy bodies. Quite a "heavy" work. But hopefully enlightening.

Sun, sun, sunny mind

2010-12-22T06:50:00.003+01:00

Tenerife was great. To go from -10 to + 23 with such beautiful scenery is like a beauty chock to my system. It took a few days to really understand that it was for real. We stayed in a beautiful, spacious apartment hotel right at the beach, we had the volcano Teide with it's snow covered peak in the north and the summer glittering ocean in the south.

This was an all relaxing week, going to bed early, sleeping long hours, getting up in the morning and doing yoga on the beach before it got to hot, sunbathing and hiking and going out at night for wonderful dinners.

Yoga in warm weather is so wonderful, no pains or aches and less energy goes to warming the body up. I was in a great flow and making the connection to the beautiful nature around filling up my energy reserve was such an vitamin injection that I know will carry me through the darkness and cold of the Swedish winter. I'm truly grateful for the vacation present from my BF. I love you!

We made a trip over to the neighbor Island of La Gomera. It was so different from Tenerife. No tourist vibe, very different nature. The energy was so wonderfully relaxing. This is an Island I would like to go back to for a yoga retreat and swimming with dolphins.

Now I'm back to work and also finishing the last shores before it's time for family chrismas on Friday.

Tenerife her I come

2010-12-09T06:29:00.003+01:00

Tomorrow me and my BF will fly to Tenerife. A week of hopefully sun, ocean, hiking in the mountains and lots of yoga and meditation. I feel so lucky having met the most amazing man with whom I can share my spiritual path with. There is such a spiritual understanding between us and this is such an amazing gift from the Universe. I'm so grateful.

He inspires me to be more energy conscious, not to dwell in the past, working with it but not dwelling in it, releasing negative thought patterns quicker and opening my heart to experiencing love and happiness.

Love yoga shakti

2010-12-04T09:14:00.003+01:00

At last nights class hip muscles were flexible and strong. I did Eka Pada Raja Kapotanasana like nothing. Next step is to get the head resting on the sole of the foot. Arms are stronger and I'm working on getting into better balance in the handstand. I cannot do it without the wall yet. Shoulders and core have to be strengthened. We practiced the L-shape with feet towards the wall and lifting one leg up. It's a good workout.

I've probably shown this video before but it's such a great, inpspiring, beautiful flow so I will do it again. Enjoy yogini Elinore Cohen!

Soon I will run of for a viryaflow class with Jenny - I'm sure it will be a higher pace and a lot of leg strengthening from series with warriors and Parsvakonasana variations.

Outside my window it's a snow covered landscape, the sky is icy blue and it's -10 degrees Celsius. Next week me and my BF will go to Teneriffe, Canary Islands for a weeks vacation. Yummi yoga, trekking and dolphin watching and +20 degrees C.

Love it is

2010-11-29T21:36:00.004+01:00

I'm having a little cold that is taking some energy. This morning I struggled through Surya Namaskara A och B 5x5. Saturday was a lovely relaxed yet exercise filled day with 1hour walk in -10 degrees and snow and then 1 hour self practice at home.

I bought a new wonderful mat to have at my BF place. Being in love, staying mostly with him is making me forget about important things as paying my bills on time, not doing my laundry until the laundry basket is ready to explode. But how wonderful it is to be in love, to dive deep, deep into LOVE. I wonder if the IRS will take that as an excuse when I tell them why I'm late with paying them? That I'm love drunk.

My name is love

2010-11-25T07:02:00.003+01:00

A time for me to heal, to let go of carrying others, learning to let go and empowering them to carry and heal themselves.

Tonight at yoga shakti either Anusara or maybe shakti yoga - life will lead me. I'm in gratitude - love is my master.

You have nothing if you don't have love

2010-11-24T06:59:00.002+01:00

I read as my morning text; Saint Paul says; "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging symbol. And though I have the gift of prophesy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have no love, it profits me nothing."

My name is love. This is my intent for today. Now a kundalini chakra yoga session with mantra singing, Jippieeee!!!

Rejuvenation time

2010-11-21T09:44:00.003+01:00

This weekend I'm diving deep into yoga and meditation. For almost a month now I haven't been doing much hatha yoga due to my navel operation and a persistent cold. I'm going to class now every day to kick start my body and it's singing of joy to stretch and sweat.

I feel a strong urge to detoxify so I'm going back to a diet of green smoothies and lots of veggies and fruits. I'm looking over what toxic situations I'm in and I can find some juicy once - it's time to stand up and say NO. To strengthen and rejuvenate me further I sing mantras every day - especially the mantras sung by Deva Premal on her new CD Into light - Om Shanti Shanti Shanti OM.

Completely in love...

2010-11-11T20:47:00.002+01:00

..with Deva Premal and of course also in my new BF, my soul mate, words cannot describe the feelings I have for him.

Into the light by Deva Premal was one of his gift's for his b-day.

Here she sings the Mool Mantra

This week no yoga yet because of a cold but many meditations and singing mantras. Hari om hari om hari om. Life is love, love is life.

This week..

2010-11-04T21:12:00.002+01:00

..has been a lot of work since I started a new therapy group, getting back into the yoga routine of daily practice... which I have not, having my period, getting to know my new BF..it's always a bit of work getting to know someone that you invite deep in to your heart....my haven has been to turn to the unknown...the universal force, God....spirit...that which is larger than myself...I know I'm carried...I rest in it....in the flow of life.

Primary guidelines

2010-10-31T07:09:00.003+01:00

Finding my focus on how to live my dream life is taking a bit longer than a couple of days to write down. To find what is really important might be a list that will be forever changing but there are some key factors that will be forever constant, that are my primary guidelines no matter how my life will develop in the physical manifestation.

This is what I've come to so far;

Unity

Abundance

I am peace, light, compassionate, loving

Open and well connected (grounded)

Structured but not rigid

These guidelines are/will be built and refined upon daily practice of yoga on and of the mat. So far they have "set root" in me but they will acquire constant watering and nourishment to grow.

My intension today...

2010-10-28T06:09:00.003+02:00

...is to look into my heart and find my focus on how my life would be if I lived my dream life and then... stay focused on that. (List is coming shortly.)

Up until now I have in many ways just tagged along in all the winding ways that life has taken me. In many ways found myself feeling as if I have no power to really change the situation or feeling like a victim. I'm in a position in life now to find a new focus and manifest it.

A theme that lately has come up in different ways lately is that many people live as if there is not abundance for everyone, that there is competition about everything.

My focus is on charing.

There is enough for everyone!!!

Alone, separate we are fragile but together we're strong, we can create miracles.

Unity comes first on my list of living my dream.

Beginners session

2010-10-26T06:33:00.004+02:00

I'm healing really well and tonight I will do my first own yoga session. I can put as much pressure on the wound as I please as long as I listen to the bodies signals, said the doctor. The navel is such a central part of the body that it's first now that I've been able to move freely without pain. It will be interesting to see if there is any new sensations when my center is whole.

My new BF will join me for what I think will be a beginners style session. It turns out though he's done ashtanga yoga many years ago and he wants to start practicing again. It's wonderful to have a BF who's into the same things that you are. In this busy life there is so little room to find space together. We met at a meditations group and he's all into the path of spiritual growth awareness.

Easy does it

2010-10-20T10:25:00.003+02:00

With local anesthesia the operation was over in 30 minutes and I could leave the hospital an hour later. So quick and effortless. Now I have very little pain but feel a bit tired since I tensed my muscles during operation. It's a very special feeling knowing that they have cut you open and are sewing inside your body. I couldn't see anything and if it started to hurt they gave me more anesthesia that worked right away.
The doctor said I can move as I please and just listen to the bodies signals of pain. Today I'm in my robe resting, reading and watching movies.

Totally scrubbed

2010-10-19T07:06:00.002+02:00

I have never been this clean ever in my life. I'm scrubbed from head to toe, twice last night before bed, then twice this morning. I'm having a small operation today on my navel at 11 am and I will leave the hospital this afternoon.

I will be on sick leave for the rest of the week since I should not put to much pressure on my abs. Hm, my abs, the story of my life. They will definitely get good attention from me when I'm healed.

There will be no going to the yoga shala this week, just a lot of mindfullness, resting and reading. Possibly a whole lot of yoga videos. A little fall resting vacation.

Regularity pays off

2010-10-14T21:34:00.002+02:00

Monday - sweaty flowing viryaflow with Josefine - inspiring, freeing, whole body strengthening - connecting to truth.
Tuesday - core and arm practice - shaktiflow with Marianne - back is really strong - abs are painfully weak.
Wednesday - 2 hour meditation with Leo - heart opening happened - green green heart chakra - my truth, my path - wisdom and love - the heart is the gateway.
Thursday - anusara with Helena - arm balances - one practice at the time, never giving up, patients - it pays off - one day you think it is impossible and the next day it's happening - finding my balance and streangth here now - REGULARITY PAYS OFF.
Friday - my meditation group - resting day from hatha yoga but 4 hours of meditation with my superwomangroup.
Saturday and Sunday with my BF in the countryside - forest walks and some time for yoga too.

Ausara and Viryayoga has helped me with a 6 days practice schedule a week with no injuries and pains - just wonderful sore muscles that are slowly building streangth, balance and endurance.

Letting go go go

2010-10-04T06:50:00.002+02:00

My windows are being renovated. I'm living with plastic covers over the windows. On Friday I got the windows back on one side and I could finally put my furniture in order again after having had workers running in and out of my apt. for 3 weeks.

The positive thing about renovation (after the frustration of having dust and dirt and not being able to move around so much) is that it can really inspire to let go of things that you do not need. I changed some of my furniture, bought some new and didn't want to throw the old ones away. Having no space in my storage room I just had to take everything out and really take a plunge into my history to see what I wanted to keep. I ended up giving and throwing tons of stuff away and ended up with more space. I like very much! It's such a relief to let go!

Today it's my favorite day of the week with my new womens therapy group in the afternoon and then ending the day with Virya yoga with a fav. teacher.

Namaste beautiful flowers.

Another experience

2010-09-30T21:20:00.002+02:00

Anusara yoga tonight - great energy. A lot of handstands. Got up in handstand on my own -made me very happy.

We where also working on opening and connecting to the heart by plugging in the shoulders, pulling them back and heart forward, belly in and tail bone down. Many backbends like Urdhva Danurasana, Eka Pada Rajakapotanasana and Ustrasana.

My body is opening up like a flower from all the good bio mechanical instructions from the wonderfully knowledgeable teachers and of course - DAILY PRACTICE.

Collecting experiences - purpose of life?

2010-09-30T06:10:00.003+02:00

How different the yoga experience can be from day to day. One day great flow, the next it feels as if driving on a bumpy road. "I take my retreat into breath", I think to myself, but not even this works. Breath is uneven and I find myself struggling with even easy poses and find myself holding my breath. I observe and know that even this will not last. Tomorrow is another day, a new experience.

All of a sudden blocked areas in my lower back and hips has opened up. In prasarita my head goes all the way down in the floor and my arms are stronger from all the arm balancing poses. Hand stand is coming along nicely and tonight at Anusara class there will be a lot of that my Anusara teacher Helena has promised us.

I'm an Amazon river

2010-09-28T06:16:00.003+02:00

First time last night I took a class with Virya yoga founder Josefine Sellander. Wonderful energy, great teaching, Virya vinyasa 2-3 level. I'm so hooked. She is teaching every Monday at 19.00 h at Yogashakti.

We worked a lot with opening the chest and connecting with the inner flow imagining the flow like a river. My river last night was an Amazon river, strong, steady flow, like the pulsation from mother earth. I was strong and flexible. My body opened up like a flower to the sun. Days like this makes up for all the practices that is not in the flow.

Mondays are now one of the best days of the week. I just started a new womens therapy group with Mindfullness/body awareness practice and afterwards therapy talk. It's a great energy, so much supporting, loving sisterhood, and then I get to end the day with Josefine. I come home late recharged and relaxed after a long day at work - this is the way to go.

A new little friend

2010-09-25T09:27:00.003+02:00

..was looking at me as I woke up this morning. My youngest daughter of 18 is a dog sitter for a lovely little chihuahua mix. This little dog is amazing, so calm and well behaved, especially since she is brought up by teenagers (my preconception, possibly children and young adults are better at bringing up dog's than adults.) Her owner has moved to the US and now she is being taken care of at least 2-3 different young adults, she is still really calm.

Since my daughter wanted to sleep in I took the dog for a walk and fed her and now she has snuggled herself in close to my side as I'm sitting here writing my blog. She's even calmer than my mom's Labrador. I thought little dog's, especially chihuahua's were very nervous by nature, I guess I learnt something new today.

Chipping away

2010-09-24T06:09:00.003+02:00

Yoga all the way from the toes to the fingertips. Since I started practice virya and anusara yoga I have connected and activated part of my body that helps in being able to do a lot of asanas I though I had to practice for years to be able to achieve.

Yesterday we practiced a lot of stability with being in the plank and handstand, arm balances, to activate the whole body to gain stability in poses. The more I practice the more fascinated I become in how intricate the yoga poses are. It's like making a journey of discovery into my own body. Layer after layer I chip of of old patterns that doesn't serve me and slowly a new and aligned body begins to take form.

Starting over again

2010-09-22T06:35:00.002+02:00

By mistake I have deleted my entire yoga blog list, grrr.

All of a sudden it happens

2010-09-22T06:24:00.002+02:00

Anusara and virya yoga has helped me to have a more relaxed attitude toward going into more challenging poses. All of a sudden my left hamstring that has beeen aching for more than 6 months, allows me to go deeper in prasaritta series. Arm balances that has killed my elbows are coming along fine, now I lift my feet of the mat and soon I will be able to hold the pose fully for several breaths.

Dedication, discipline and joy of practice.

Practice without ego

2010-09-22T06:13:00.002+02:00

The theme of class the other night. I dedicated my practice to my children. I got into the flow and struggle to reach somewhere stopped. It made me aware of how easy I go into struggling for a result and my body tenses up. I backed of from going all the way, as far as I could go in the asanas. I focused on my heart reaching out to my children, my family, humankind and the planet. My body got soft and flexible and I easily could have gone very deep in the asanas, but my focus was to release that and go beyond myself. After class I felt so relaxed, energized and peaceful. I will bring this attitude with me to many more classes, especially on days when I feel tired, this is when I usually go into to struggling.

RAWinspiration

2010-09-19T10:06:00.002+02:00

This video got me really inspired to move one more step towards a RAW diet. Already today I make two green smoothies + a lot of greens and veggies a day. I eat seafood, no dairy products but some hot foods and bread. I'm also a sucker for sugar. My craving for sugar decreases when I eat a lot of RAW and increases if I eat heavy, hot foods. A big heavy meal can throw me into a bad craving for sweets.

Go with the flow and let it happen

2010-09-18T20:47:00.002+02:00

A fun and challening yogasession today. Muscles are sore from intense yoga practise during the week. At the end of the session during a marishyasana I felt such strong flow of energy and an intense sence of the essence of practise;"Just practice and all is coming." Be in the flow, just practise. Bring forth your intent and just step on the mat and let it happen. It's a big difference between struggling to achive a result and just letting the change happen. It's all in the mind and the body will follow, in yoga and in life.

What a wonderful day

2010-09-18T08:52:00.004+02:00

Since I started meditating every day I have gained so much more focus and energy - I get a lot more done without exhausting myself.

Today there is a wonderful September sun shining on the leafs that slowly change color into red, yellow, orange. I will go for a yogaclass, meet up with a new friends from one of the meditation groups I meet regularly, go to my parents for a visit and get my hair fixed and then...a night home alone, just relaxing.

My intent today is gain balance focusing on holding a steady uddiyana bandha.

Eka pada rajakapotanasana

2010-09-18T08:27:00.002+02:00

At yoga shakti, my new yogastudio, they teach anusarayoga and viryayoga - it's alot about bio mechanics - this has taught me to go in and out of poses with much more care and understanding. This has made it so much easier to really get it wright and I get out of struggling. In every anusara class there is always a little part that is like a workshop in how to get into a pose. In no time I can do asanas I thought I had a long time before I could do - like Eka pada rajakapotanasana.

Pressing the front foot flexed and also tensing the whole base towards the floor to gain strength gives you the base then it's a piece of cake to do the back bending part. Before I collapsed in the base making it very unstable.

Also handstand is coming along really well and I'm now enjoying the wonderful feeling of muscle strength in my upper body.

Effects of hatha yoga

2010-09-16T06:23:00.003+02:00

Since about 2 weeks I've changed my daily routine into meditating in the morning and going for a yoga class at night.

I have also joined a meditation group and meet them several times a week for group meditation.

Thanks to hatha yoga, helping me to be more aware of what is going on in my body, learning to observe my emotions and thoughts without interacting, just being, has brought me into a more steady state of peace. It has a great effect on my ability to sit in meditation, going into the meditative state without the struggle of emotions, thoughts and pains and aches of the body.

Hatha yoga serves such a great way of removing the obstacles to go into the meditative state.

Early morning sweetness

2010-09-05T09:25:00.002+02:00

I love to wake up feeling rested, drinking the first cup of coffee and reading my books and blogs. So relaxed, just loving it.

I haven't been doing hatha yoga since my birthday. The cold has made my muscles to sore. I wanted to stay home in bed all week but I didn't want to be away from work. Now during the weekend I rest in bed. I'm letting go of all the musts and I'm just resting.

I've been doing a lot of meditation during the week and I found an old book of mine called "Mudras, Yoga in your hands" by Gertrude Hirschi. For each mudra there is a description of what it symbolizes and it's energetic use. Mudras are both hand postures, asanas, eye movements and body locks (bandhas). They are used to enhance an intension and can be used to enhance mental traits as well as healing of different imbalances.

Atmanjali mudra - supports inner collection and creates harmony, balance, repose, silence and peace since it activates and harmonizes the left and right brain hemispheres. Depending on where you place, in front of your heart or over your head you can support a request. Of course it is also a gesture of respect.

I welcome this beautiful sunny morning and I'm deeply thankful that I am where I am. My intent for this day is to let go and become pure. There is something at heart level that is to be freed. I place the atmanjali mudra here to enhance it.

Namaste friends!

In bed early

2010-09-01T20:48:00.003+02:00

I dragged myself home from work, my legs weighed 1 ton. My youngest daughter has a flu and it seems as if I'm also hooked by those nasty viruses. I could not do yoga as planned after work so I'm in my bed watching yoga video's - does that make me a yoga nerd? *3~

44

2010-08-31T06:58:00.003+02:00

I wanted to wake up alone, at home on my 44th birthday. For me it feels like my new birth birthday. I spent the morning going over the past 20 years. I released a lot of emotional stuff that belonged to the past to make place for things to come.

I spent the afternoon having brunch with my children. We laughed a lot talking about their childhood, locking at pictures. In the late afternoon I went to anusara yoga and afterwards I attended a class of zazen.

My BF caught up with me and we ended the day at a very posh Italian restaurant for a surprise dinner. I was in my sweaty yoga outfit. I tried to convince him to have take away and eat at home but he didn't buy it, so there I was at the posh restaurant with all the well dressed, fine perfumed people.

Synchronicity

2010-08-31T06:50:00.003+02:00

My blogging is not up to date, I know, but... most important now is to connect and share time with all the loving, high energy people that are now coming in my way. It's like the soul family is gathering, more and more are coming, joining and there is a lot of happiness in meeting people who think and understand in many ways as I do. I have waited long for this. Last time it happened was 20 years ago.

We meditate a lot, talk and spend time in nature. They are now being introduced to yoga through me as a way of further work their physical body as well as their energetic body.

Saturday my resting day

2010-08-28T23:39:00.002+02:00

I walked in the sun, actually to the yoga studio, not for yoga but for my friends who were there today. We spent the day in the sun meditating having loving supportive talks. A wonderful day, a loving day, I feel energized.

Tomorrow is my 44th birthday. I feel as a new era is beginning in my life, so many new wonderful people have come into my life this summer. Energy has turned around. I feel clear inside, peaceful, harmonious, higher in energy. I wanted to wake up alone and spend the morning in my own energy and take in myself and clear myself from the past as much as I can and invite the new that is coming. I will have a long brunch with my daughters at noon, sitting in pajamas just cuddling and eating, hugging and talking, charing quality time and in the afternoon I will take an anusara class and then 1,5 hours meditation and spend the evening with my new beloved friends.

Riding the wave of the breath gracefully...

2010-08-28T08:53:00.003+02:00

...making every breath a meditation.

I've been going to yoga classes every day this past 1 1/2 weeks. I always push myself harder at class and also I find it so wonderful to follow someone else's instructions. The other day I though practice would be a struggle since my muscles were aching but I went into the most wonderful flow and it became so clear to me how important it is to have a strong breath in your practice. My favorite is ujjayi and since I was in a class with many students trying yoga out being quite new to it I momentarily noticed that they were not breathing. I'm so used to a class were you hear the ujjayi breath as a chorus. I could hear them struggling while I was just flowing in my practice. Breath is number one. Don't sacrifice your breath over coming into an asana. Step back catch your breath and continue.

Meeting myself as I am now

2010-08-25T11:03:00.003+02:00

Last night I ran into an issue that I find quite painful; being short with money, not making ends meet. This is an issue that triggers a lot of fears and frustrations. I feel ashame that I cannot give my children more, I feel frustrated not being able to enjoy a lot of wonderful yoga events and travels and so on and so forth. I feel ashamed for my reactions. As a yogi I should not hold on to the ego's twists and turns about owning, about obsessions. Yet, the ego comes through and cries and shouts - I let it - I observe it - I join in the emotions knowing that this too shall pass - I don't hold the emotions back, they come through as waves of pain, gushing out tears, twists my body. I join in the center of it, I emerge myself in them like a pearls in the muscle - I roll and twist - I let it happen - I know this will shed some layers of of me so I will shine brighter.

Last night at yoga class, shaktiflow - the theme was to allow yourself to wear your fears like a crown, letting yourself fall/fail and laugh about it. It was a tough practice with long standing sequences making my legs go into a bit of a cramp in the hip joints. A lot of arm balances. It was sweaty, class was full. My muscles aching from past days yoga classes. I push myself but at the same time I allow myself to modify some movements when it's to much. I'm more allowing towards myself, I don't judge myself as before. When it gets to be to tough I connect deeper with breath and move into a feeling of flow, connecting to the shape of my body, moving beyond my body connecting to the etheric body and flow with the energy. My intention this class was to keep an open heart even though many asanas where a bit challenging and fearful. I loved the crescent moon, anjaneyasana, pushing my chest further, opening up my heart and pulling shoulders back in urdva mukha svanasana. I took every chans I got to open up my heart more.

Thinking back on where I was a year ago, I have developed a lot, I'm stronger, more flexible, more aware of what is going on in my body. The greatest development or should I say what makes me most happy is the mental aspects and effect of practice, I'm so much more peaceful, mentally balanced and now the spiritual aspect is opening up more. Like a natural next step I move into the unseen. It has come to me as a yearning. It's like when you feel like breathing deeper, opening up more or you feel that the body can move deeper into a pose. I move deeper into the next level of consciousness.

The energetic world

2010-08-24T15:27:00.003+02:00

Plunging into a deeper understanding of the etheric body and chakras. A huge subject not all that easy to grasp. This whole world of energy beyond the physical realm that we connect and balance through yoga. I'm inspired to focus on moving from solar plexus focus to having main focus in the heart chakra.

The manner of the heart chakra - intuiton, feeling, faith in your believes, connection through feelings with the outside world, empathy with others, evolution through brother and sisterhood, with the planet, the solar system.

To move focus to living through the heart center will be my intent for tonights shaktiflow class at yogashakti.

The after yoga class I will go to the dance performance of Virpi Pahkinen in the park theater, to experience pure intuitive heart energy through the art's and craft's.

A wonderful summers day

2010-08-24T00:53:00.004+02:00

Spent the day with my BF on a boat visiting the Viking island Birka in Malaren. The sun was shining, water was still, the air sweet, the island so beautiful with cattle gracing the hills, the builders reconstructing the little viking village. This surely is a place to visit both for beauty and history. We where almost alone there, schools have started and most people seam to be working. I guess I'm one of the few still on vacation. No yoga today but surely tomorrow at the yoga studio.

This is life

2010-08-22T11:06:00.003+02:00

On one blog I read that one teacher I have had the fortune to get guidance from has passed away. She was such light and strength and even if she was hurting and afraid she was at the shala giving assistance and making plans for the future. She was so brave. I Learned a lot from her even though I only spent a month in the shala she was in. I cry when I read that she is no longer with us in physical form. She is missed. Thoughts of why? She was such light. Why did she have to go? Life/death. I want to make sense of it, but I reach no answer. There is only emotions. Pain, sorrow, feelings of helplessness. I know unresolved feelings of fear of loosing my daughters are being triggered. I have a lot of unresolved feelings of fear of loosing them.

In the next blog, I read about vibrant youth, aliveness. It's like being thrown into different dimensions. I smile through the tears.

Important words from a friend of mine landed in me the other day. What ever I do, I want to do it with a big smile on my face and happiness filling my body. I have been in to much seriousness, for to many years. Now I want to live in happiness, flowing in the life force, feeling fully alive.

Self practice

2010-08-21T18:07:00.002+02:00

I went to a yogashala for a self practice donation class and had a wonderful male teacher that helped me a lot with alignment and also work on my arm and shoulder strength. He pointed out the importance of spreading the toes as well as the fingers in most poses to let the energy flow all the way out to the toes and fingertips. It makes a big difference in getting the energy to flow.

Entering samadhi in the yoga postures

2010-08-21T17:55:00.003+02:00

I have long searched for a teacher that can inspire me one step further in the yoga postures when it comes to moving towards oneness, unity. I have long understood that the energy field of the teacher inspires the student to move that extra step into a deeper understanding and experience of unity. I have many time through the years moved into short moments of a state of bliss and experienced how wonderful and effortless the practice becomes but rarely met a teacher that has embodied this teaching. I much long for this deeper experience of unity and I found this webpage about vinyasayoga that talks about this and also has wonderful vinyasa cards and videos. (Click the titel to come to the website.)

Shiva Rea

2010-08-20T09:29:00.004+02:00

My new inspiration Shiva Rea. She has an energy and deeper understanding of energy work that inspires me a lot. I guess I'm just looking for a teacher that I feel is communicating a common language with me. When I read what she is writing and practice her routines my body is smiling and my heart is radiating love.

Veggies, love and healing

2010-08-20T09:11:00.003+02:00

Organically grown veggies delivered at my door every two weeks. I love it. Last night they where delivered and I made a cabbage, tomato, olive caserole with soysausages for dinner, my friend A loved it. She gave me healing afterwards. I will invite friends over more often.

Routine, love and rain

2010-08-19T10:53:00.004+02:00

Coming back home from the vacation trip I haven't really gotten back to my daily routine and it drains my energy. Since there is a low pressure weather system over us in Stockholm this week I focus on being inside finishing my yin yoga teacher training paper to get my little degree and meditating and coming back to my yoga routine.

I spend much time with my new BF and it's interesting to see how both our precognitions about how we are in a relationship are being transformed by the very loving feeling between us. Defenses are dropping and we come to rest and trust with each other. He's a very active person and I'm calmer, more meditative type, we seam to balance each other, or should I say inspire each other with a different energy. I did a couples atrologymatch on line and we did not have one single negative aspect between us, is that good or bad or maybe it just is...?

Next week the weather forecast is promising sun so we are planning on going out into the archipelago - our one-hour-from-the-city-untouched-wilderness-beauty.

Today my body needs the kundalini yoga chakra routine to boost energy and soft whole body back and front bends.

A steadfast peacefulness

2010-08-16T11:47:00.008+02:00

Ales Stone's at Kåseberga a historical and mythical site.

Summer vacation - went to the south of Sweden for my first week of vacation. Still shaky after a nasty cold I focused on getting a lot of rest. The weather was a bit so so and I was with my boyfriend so we went around a lot in the car, visiting friends and relatives, saw beautiful scenery and focused on our common interest - art. Went over to Copenhagen for a day and night and got a wonderful tour on bicycle around town from a friend.

Finally I got to visit the artexhibitions at Lousiana in Humlebaeck - I've wanted to go here for years. It was great. As we stepped into the garden the pouring rain held up for an hour so that jazz musicians Palle Mikkelborg and Michale Riessler could do their piece accompanied by the dancing sculpure of A. Calder. The place, just by the sea, the art and the people I was with - it was one of those magical moments.

The next day we went back to Sweden and visited the Nimis in Kullaberg, the much controversial artwork by Lars Vilks. The steep trail leading down to the art site was a small adventure in itself and then the art piece made of drift wood was just magnificent. There were so many people who made it down there and it was all worth it. As we where to leave the site I heard someone banging with a hammer and I thought one visitor was adding some wood to the piece but it was the man himself - Lars Vilks - who was there building away. The piece is growing and growing - this seams to be an endless adventure of his and I'm happy to be able to take part of it.

I had planned for a lot of outdoor yoga and possibly paragliding with my BF, who is into the sport, but the wind and weather just wasn't right for it. No yoga for a week - wow - I was happy to see how peaceful I have become from working on my focus, breath and asana. The everyday practice has paid of. I feel completely changed mentally. Things I could spin off on and go into different moods before is just gone. Yoga is going on always - it's the yoga of the mat that I practiced this week and it's working beautifully.

Getting a good technique

2010-08-06T11:28:00.003+02:00

I found this really good youtube video of Sadie Nardini on how to build core and arm strength and finding the balance. Yoga is so much about finding the balance and going from struggling to flowing bit by bit with acceptance and humility for yourself, where you are without comparing yourself with others but rather be inspired.

First anusara practice

2010-08-06T08:40:00.002+02:00

The other day I had my first anusara practice. I really liked how they work on alignment. In Utthita Parsvakonasana we first pointed the upper arm out in front of us, reaching forward out to the side of the body, then drawing the shoulder back and then swinging the arm above the head. We repeated the sequence several times. I have never been so perfectly aligned. I have often struggled a bit with the alignment of this asanas, often feeling that I don't come into it in a correct way. We did the same thing in Trikonasana, repeating, going in and out and returning to Utthita parsvakonasana.

After the first warming up with Suryanamskara varitations and some standing sequences we did some arm balances, using the wall. I have written about them before. Stand on your hands and place your feet on the wall and slide down with your legs until your 90 degrees with your upper body. This works great on core strength. I often do this variation of handstand to work on my core strength. The teacher also went through how we should get the best alignment with the arms and shoulders.

Bakasana is an asana that gives me much challenge. Doing it by supporting the toes on the wall, allowing me to find the balance and work on my strength is a good help to overcome fear of falling on your face.

Anusara also emphasize to open the heart. More or less in every asana they point this out. I realize how often I have done the opposite and in that way been misaligned.

Here are some more wall yoga asanas. Enjoy and get inspired!

Taking risks - releasing fear

2010-08-04T06:30:00.004+02:00

Last night during class before the profound feeling of happiness appeared I felt that a deep holding pattern, in my mind and also in my muscles came up to the surface. A question arouse in my mind; "Can I allow myself to feel deep sadness?" In my mind I've been programmed to always be strong for my children's sake all of these years. I understood now that I have a strong holding pattern of not allowing myself to let go and fall and this is consuming a lot of energy. This shows me I'm ready to let go and allow myself the risk of falling and also succeed.

A new favorite asana

2010-08-03T21:09:00.002+02:00

At virya yoga practice tonight we did an asana with one foot dangling down towards the mat and the other leg up the wall, like a standing split but with the hands supporting the weight. This combines two postures that are really good for me. To work on the split in a softer way and also work up good shoulder strength to prepare for handstands. Superb.

Another thing I need to work on are abs. It didn't feel as suberb. The theme tonight was practice and detachment, this is how I approached especially the negative thoughts about working my abs.

I was sad for something that happened yesterday, but half way through class I felt intense joy, not because I had achieved a difficult asana, even though I see that my arms and shoulders can take many more vinyasas now, it was only joy, for no apparent reason.

Here are a series asanas using the wall as resistance.

MC festival

2010-08-03T20:40:00.002+02:00

The past weekend I met up with my new boyfriend as he was selling sunglasses at a motor cycle festival. A very different scene for me to be in. Right in the middle of all of these thousands of roaring,imaginatively designed horsepowers, I was with my pink yoga mat, sitting under big oak trees in the castle garden of the festival area, at peace, reading the Ashtanga yoga book by David Swenson.

I was amazed by the creativity and beauty of the many different motor cycles. I'm really into yoga, they are really into motor cycles.

2010-07-30T06:34:00.003+02:00

I'm finally gaining my energy again. I pulled out my Maca powder from the cubbord. I've taken only a pinch from it every day for a week and now strength is restored.

Yesterday I had a wonderful self practice. I focused on core strength. My teacher in mediation from last weekend said something that stayed with me. It was something like this;"Do not quit when you feel resistance, stay with it, release and don't flee, then continue on your path. Otherwise you will get a "jerky" uneven development." This is exactly what I've done for years. Now I will stay on it, with respect and listen to the body and quit the vinyasas when my elbows start hurting. I can do other strengthening asanas and lifts for my arm and shoulder strength.

I'm inspired from Virya yoga to do many preparation asanas before going into the "stronger" ones. It's like talking to body and make it understand on what way we are going. Just from a couple of practices I have developed several asanas that I've struggled with for a long time. One is hamstrings being quite short and another is getting the leg behind the head. I cannot get over yet but it's rapidly getting there. At night after talking a brisk walk I did some asanas just to stretch like Bhekasana, I could not do it fully but 75%. I did Eka pada Sirsasana A, as a variation, holding the foot with my hand behind the head, inspired by the variations on page 159 in David Swensons Ashtanga yoga, The practice manual.

Today no yoga, I will travel today and needed to sleep in so I will meditate on the bus.

Namaste friends, have a super wonderful day.

A grounding encounter

2010-07-28T22:43:00.003+02:00

I met a young man today with the starry sky in his eyes. His gaze was steadfast. A soft face. He said he had been living in a cottage in the forest and living of of what the forest could give, for many years. Next to him I felt I play many roles. He has one face. I have many. I sold him my rawfood festival ticket. He gave me more than I asked for. I was grateful. He was happy.

Yoga x 2

2010-07-27T21:10:00.002+02:00

This morning I did my own practise at home - a vinyasa yoga practise, I only had 50 minutes wich felt just fine since I was planning after work yoga in the park. I was so stiff this morning but once I got flowing the asanas where feeling really great - time was up. I focused a lot on core, arms and also backbends.

After work I went to a Prana flow class that was held in the park close to my work. It's Shiva Rea's style of yoga - so generous and allowing. Focus on enjoying and moving the way the body wan'ts to move. The class was about grounding - connecting to earth. A wonderful flow and also peaceful - in shavasana I was totally relaxed.

Now I light candles all over the apartment since the bright Scandinavian nights are fading away.

Here is a super nice ab workout with Shiva Rea - this one I will try tomorrow morning.

Liberate

2010-07-26T21:29:00.004+02:00

Dynamic yoga asks tightness to bend and softness to be strong. My intent during viryayoga class tonight was just this and also to lower my ambitions. Just to relax into the asanas and rather back of than to push it to the limit. To be conscious of what is going on inside, just observing it as I move through the practice.

During the meditation weekend I was confronted with my high demands on myself, the need to bring in more playfulness, to let go of old pains and unresolved issues. Actually lately I've heard the same thing from 3 different places, that you can choose to let go of feelings that doesn't serve you any more and they really don't have to be resolved, just look at them and let them go. I realize I've held on to a lot of feelings that I've felt unable to detach from. The wonderful thing with meditation is that you can detach from all the identifications and then peace comes through.

Balance restored

2010-07-22T21:15:00.002+02:00

It turned out to be viryayoga tonight. Wonderful series with a lot of asanas that I don't do that often like vasisthasana, eka pada rajakapotanasana, natarajanasana, garudasana and more.

I've felt so tired and unbalanced the past week. After class I felt so energized and happy again - I love yoga - it brings you right back to business. I needed the group energy, to be led and inspired. This was the right medicine.

Anusara tonight - I hope

2010-07-22T06:29:00.003+02:00

Two days with less pressure at work. I will focus on the new womens group I will start this fall so I can leave for vacation and not think of work at all.

I'm still very tired but according to the doctor I'm OK, probably just a cold. The often occurring colds I have I see as a sign that I'm overworked. This summer has been exceptional. I'm frustrated that I feel that it makes yoga progress slowly. Since I have digestive problems since many years the doctor prescribed a 2 week dairy free diet to rule out lactose intolerance. I thought it would be really easy but now I realize how much dairy products I do eat. This will be a good experience and if I feel much better from it I will for sure go on to at least reduce dairy products from my diet, unless it turns out I'm lactose intolerant. Then it will come to a complete stop.

Tomorrow night I go to the meditation retreat over the weekend. I have no expectations. It will be what it will be. I go with an open heart and mind.

Now a brisk walk to work and my plan is to go to an Anusara class tonight. I want some new inspiration. I haven't been to a led class for a long time now. Unless...I feel fatigue this afternoon, this has been the case in the afternoon during the week.

Place your eyes on your goal and don't loose the sight of it no matter what tempts you

2010-07-20T07:33:00.004+02:00

Words of great power. Words of truth. They go straight inside to the core. From Sutra 56, book 3, Yoga sutras of Patalnjali by S.S. Satchidananda. I was very touched by; "Go straight towards your goal. Do not stop and get caught up by the side shows that are tempting you on the way. Just keep on going." This is not directly quoted but the way I understood it." I'm happy I read this to prepare myself for the meditation course this weekend.

Sooon...

2010-07-19T20:34:00.002+02:00

...vacation. I'm so tired right now every day at work is like climbing uphill. I need rest, to get into my practice. To have a clean break from work. I notice I have some thoughts that fall will be really tough at work. I know they come from our leaders always talking about how tough it's going to be in the future with the reorganization. I'm lacking in energy big time now.

I need rest, I need to be spoiled, I need some kick ass yoga sessions to put me into the right energy flow again.

The fruits of a daily practice

2010-07-17T10:38:00.003+02:00

Kayaking two hours after work with my colleagues, sunbathing and swimming, hanging out with friends and family, going to concerts, plays and dance performances, boat trips, going for a cool drink at night with dates - it's the best summer ever. It's +30 degrees C and I'm still working but it feels like vacation. Stockholm is the best city when it's summer, you have so many activities happening in the city. This summer we are blessed with warmth and sun. It's not always like this. I wish it was.

Yoga in this warmth is amazing. The body is flexible and I really like heat so for me that is not an obstacle. All of a sudden I can put my head on the floor in the prasarita padottanansana serie and the whole hip area where there has been such a tightness is loosening up. The progress is not fast but if I compare with last year it's a big difference. Mentally the practice has brought me into a peaceful place, as I have written about before, and the amazing thing is that I'm still there. The mind seems to have been stabilized in the place of peace. I'm surprised every day that I'm not as up and down as before. The beautiful fruits of a daily practice.

Being so busy with all the daily activities has made me skip morning Mysore for a while. It's not often we have a summer like this and I choose to live it to the fullest. More morning Mysore and blogging will happen when the darkness and cold comes back. For now I enjoy morning practice at home or on a beautiful cliff in the archipelago on the week ends.

Breathtaking sunrises

2010-07-13T17:59:00.004+02:00

I have busy days and evenings with work at day and friends and dates in the evening, in between the yoga practice is rolling along nicely. It's not often we get to enjoy such wonderful weather in Sweden so I spend as much time as I possibly can outdoors. The blogging is suffering. Everything has it's own time.

I spent the weekend in the outer archipelago of Stockholm. Clear blue sky, refreshing water, lazy days, breathtaking sunrises over open water. Yesterday I did yoga on the cliffs overlooking the sea. I felt so unison with the elements. It was a perfect day. A perfect weekend.

Now some late evening yoga. I enjoy the heat. The body is so flexible. I try out asanas that I normally are to stiff to do and it's such joy to feel the body just following the thought.

In love

2010-07-02T22:10:00.003+02:00

Morning vinyasa practice at home and evening acroyoga jam in a beautiful park. I'm so flexible in the heat. I love summer. I love how the body feels in the warmth. I love the way yoga makes me feel. I love the lovely acroyogis who are so patient with a beginner like me. I love the playfulness and trust you have to have in acro. I'm working on getting into a full Eka Pada Rajakapotanasana, I did it in acoryyoga and then it's called mermaid, a very pretty pose. I did many of the movements like the once in the youtube video below.

Tomorrow we will have +30 degrees so I will be on the beach getting some tan and rest from the yoga, just some stretching and pranayama in the morning.

Viveka

2010-07-01T06:02:00.002+02:00

I do my own practice at home this week. It feels good. Will renew my pass at the Mysore studio next week so I can start practice there again. Yesterday mornings practice I felt the flowing of energy coming back giving me strength and put a big smile on my face. I notice how much blocked energy I have in my pelvic region. It has come since my pregnancies, before I was very flexible in this area, now there is a lot of resistance.

Practice slow and mindful gives such sweetness. No real striving, just being, in every movement, in every breath. This is the positive aspect for me to practice at home. At the studio my mind easily goes in to comparing myself with others.

I'm being very inspired my sutras 26 and 27 of book II Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by S.S Satchidananda. 26 - Uninterrupted discriminative discernment is the method of it's removal. 27 - One's wisdom in the final stage is sevenfold. (One experiences the end of 1) desire to know anything more; 2) desire to stay away from any thing; 3) desire to gain anything new; 4) desire to do anything ; 5) sorrow; 6) fear; 7) delusion.)

I bring them with me in my thoughts and remind myself throughout the day, letting go of my own doing, seeing the permanent aspect in the people I meet (mostly) and observing the ever changing aspects of life - it's so freeing, it gives peace. I who never ever before thought of doing tattoos are considering to tattoo them since they mean so much for me.

Observing observing observing peace

2010-06-29T22:18:00.004+02:00

Finally today I did ashtanga. Just a modest practice of one hour at home but still a good practice. Going to Mysore practice has taught me to go slower and really get into the asana before counting. My body then has time to settle in and not go into a struggle. I was a bit shaky but flexible. I want to get more strength back before going back to morning Mysore. Tomorrow another one hour practice and then a morning walk to walk.

While my body is often struggling and falling into colds often my mind is developing, or rather letting go of ignorance. I'm so much more accepting and choosing a loving way to sovle issues. I'm more loving towards myself too. I find myself often in the observing mode without judgement. I observe the body when it's resisting, just accepting, observing, being and moving on mode. Yin yoga has helped me so much with my attitude. I'm peaceful.

Letting go time

2010-06-27T12:02:00.003+02:00

Midsummer eve I spent with my family, very relaxed and just enjoying togehterness, good food and the sun. Finally sun on midsummer eve! The time of year that is so beautiful in Sweden.

I'm free from the cold but still I'm so tired. One of my best friends who is really sensitive and clear visioned gave me good feedback on something I should look into in regards to healing old wounds. I think she was on to something important. Lately so much old dysfunctional behavior, automatic thoughts and stuck emotions has surfaced and now it's time to deal with it. I'm so happy I got the help I needed to pinpoint a problem I was blind to myself.

To work with my energy I will do the kundalini chakra practice again with some good chanting to release. First some nauli to energize the abdomen. Energy is really stuck there.

Then of to the park by the water to join my brother and his family for some sunbathing. Later possibly another date with B. I would like him as a friend. I think he's an awesome guy, but I do doubt I'm ready for more at this point.