A new begining!

06.05. Woke up feeling rested after only six hours of sleep. I guess the increasing light is affecting me to sleep less. The slow energy of winter is leaving my energysystem.

Today I will do hatha yoga. I feel my body is ready for it. This winter I've had musclepain and being extremely tired. Blood tests show nothing. I'm in psychotherapy. Coming in contact with childhood traumas can cause physical effects like this, my therapist says. I've done hatha yoga several times during the past few months. The effect after just a light training has been extrem musclepain and dizziness lasting for days. Could be the many years of holding down anger.

Giving up patterns I've held for many years is quite a work. I'm afraid yet happy it's happening. I feel lost. I've held back anger really strong. It's like that emotion hasn't been in my vocabilary. I will see if some boxersice can help me come in contact with anger more. In some ways I think a part of me has chosen the practise of hatha yoga as a way of not letting anger come forth. I've released tensions and upheld the image of myself as a happy and "holy" person. I will not give up hatha yoga but I will add some more explosive practices.

Long time no writing

Motivation and time to write has come back. I have had the need to go deep within and also focus on all the activities that are going on in my life.

I've spent much time working fulltime and studying part time. Soon it's Christmas vacation and will have a much needed rest being a lot outside, doing yoga and resting.

I'm studying cognitive behavioral therapy and I've had the opportunity to do a course in Mindfulness at work. I'm so grateful to be able to work with it.

Hatha yoga has been a bit uneven during the past 6 months since I've had to focus much on work and studies and also had a lot of colds. Now I feel strong again. Today I spent the afternoon amongst old old oaktrees in beautiful old nature. I'm balances again.

Meditation under old oak trees

As I raise my consciousness I can much more easily direct the energy in my energy field, sensing when something is stuck or if I've soaked up energy from my surroundings that I need to let go of in order to stay balanced. Also through the process of all the meditation and hatha yoga many times unresolved issues from my past are coming up to the surface so that I can let go of them. All the meditation has brought me in to a much more peaceful state. I feel lighthearted and I can meet my everyday life with much more ease and I carry a basic emotion of that life is perfect in all it's ways.

I meditate much in nature. I seek out those places I can find with high vibrational energies. I have my favorite place with old old oak trees just by the ocean. The plant life here is amazing. Just sitting in these surroundings are very harmonizing.

Deva Premal & Miten

Last night my and my sister in law, also she a yoga teacher (I'm so blessed to have my only sister in law also loving the same things I do) went to a Deva Premal & Miten concert in the city concert hall.

It was bliss. I especially loved the mantras she does with the Gyuto Monks of Tibet. The earthy tones of the monks and her feminine voice.

Take out your mala and sit comfortably with a straight back and prepare to recite the mantra 108 times and then end in silence.

As Deva says,

“Without the silence that follows the chants, you get only half the story. It's like the climax of a good story. The silence is there because it exists in the music. It just needs to be exposed and acknowledged. It's so easy to overlook the silence inside the music... and it's that which is healing us... if we allow it to be there. This is really one of the main reasons Miten and I sing - to bathe in Silence. It's our nourishment. It's what keeps us on the road. For me there is nothing more precious than having sung with an audience, ecstatic with bliss, and then entering the deep silence that the mantra brings... so deep, that with closed eyes you really feel there is 'nobody' there at all... all personalities dissolved for a tiny sacred moment.”

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Spring is here!!!

It's been so long since I've been posting anything. Life is so full I've had to make priorities. The last 4 weeks I've had a persistent cold with a killing cough s I'v had no energy to do hatha yoga. Of course there is daily meditations. A practice for me though, has been to just resign into the illness. This had been tough but now I'm starting to get it. I can enjoy just observing myself in this "mode" as well.

Spring is here and soon it will be so warm outside that I can do yoga in the park. I love going there after work and then after practice friends and family come over for pick nick.

*3~

Time flies by so fast. Work, daily practice, loving friendship meetings, being with my children. I find myself spending less and less time on the blog, almost no TV at all. Most of the time I have of from work I spend meditating. Now spring is coming and I feel this strong yearning to meditate in nature.

All this time spent meditating has brought me into this sense of beingness, isness. Today, even having a slight cold I find myself being in the breath of the great one. There is no worldly experience that could ever come close. This isness is so subtle, yet deep and strong.

Daily practice

I'm so happy having my health back so I can do my daily practice. It makes such a difference to practice daily. My back bends are really starting to become smooth and strong. Abs needs much more strength so I will do extra exercise for that. I do put attention to uddiyana banda in all the asanas to be connected to these important muscles, since they are exercised in so many asanas.

Now time for a little morning practice with saluting the sun and doing some handstands. My body is ready for it but my mind isn't. I can feel the fear arising only by putting my hands on the floor to get ready for it.

Found some nice videos from ashtanga world that I like very much. I don't practice ashtanga anymore but I still practice daily (if my health allows it)